School or No School – Tough Decision

Should I keep my child in school while going through topical steroid withdrawal?  I don’t think there is a right or wrong answer.  The decision to pull your child out of school or keep them in school is a very difficult one.  Take the time and weigh your options.  Whatever you decide – you are right.  Every family and situation is different.  Do not listen to ANYONE who criticizes your decision.  There are critics for both sides so look inside yourself and go with what feels right for your family.

HOMESCHOOLING: Pulling your child out of school and homeschooling is an option for some.  It gives your child the chance to stay home and rest as much as is necessary.  If you are someone who has a lot of patience and you are in a situation to do this, go for it!  It is a wonderful opportunity to spend more time with your kid and allowing him/her to heal.  Don’t let people criticize you for keeping your child alienated or isolated.  They don’t live your life, so to hell with them!  A very good friend of mine always says that friends don’t judge.  I agree.  A real friend can have a difference of opinion with you without judging you.  If someone is judging you, they aren’t being a good friend to you so ignore them!  Some children are teased and bullied at school because of their appearance.  If that is the case and you feel it is best to keep your child at home to avoid that (or to avoid jail time when you kick the shit out of some snot nosed little bully), there are things that you will have to do to prepare.  Do some research and find out what your state requires.  I have no personal experience with homeschooling but I found this site that has tips on what you will need to do.  This is for the US.   How to Homeschool Your Children

STAYING HOME WITH YOUNGER CHILDREN: If you have a child that is in daycare, nursery school or PreK you are not required by law to home school.  You may choose to do it so that your child isn’t too far behind when they go to school but it isn’t necessary.  Again, this is not the situation I am in so I have no experience but I wouldn’t stress about your child falling behind.  Kids are like sponges and they will catch up when they are well enough to go to school.  At least that is my opinion.  The most important thing is to keep your child as comfortable and happy as you can.  You have enough to worry about.

KEEPING YOUR CHILD IN SCHOOL: Some children really want to go to school as much as possible.  Some parents want their kids to go to school as much as possible to preserve some sort of normalcy.  Some parents don’t have the option to stay home and home school their child.  It isn’t always possible to take a leave of absence from work to stay home with your sick kid.  Due to financial situations or not having the support of family or friends, some people have to send their children to school.  Whatever your reason is, know that your child will still miss some school because he/she will not be able to move some days.  The fact is that your child is sick and will have to stay home and rest sometimes.  Hopefully not too often.  In the US there is 504 Plan that will give your child special accommodations with his/her school.  I believe this was created for children with disabilities so that they would have the opportunity to go to school with everyone else.  Most schools require a simple letter from your pediatrician stating that your child will miss many days and may need extra time to complete assignments and take tests.  Your school should have a meeting with you after you send in the letter.  They should also send a tutor when your child misses school.  I believe that every state has different rules regarding how many hours of tutoring they provide.  Check online to see what you are entitled to.  We did not know anything about this last year and no one provided a tutor for the 23 days that my daughter missed.  I was not happy when I found out about that.  Neither was the school when they had to listen to me bitch about it.  If your school does not request a meeting after you provide the 504 letter, call them and insist that they address this.  Call the guidance office and ask what you are entitled to.  Do your research so you don’t get screwed out of days like we did. If you are working and can only stay with your child occasionally, please do not beat yourself up about it.  You are doing the best you can with the situation that you have been thrown in.  The fact that you are taking the time to read my boring blog tells me that you are a caring parent who wants to learn everything  you can about your child’s situation.  That makes you a great parent.  Don’t let guilt eat at you.  You made the right decision for your family.  This link explains the 504 Plan.  Protecting Students With Disabilities

OUR DECISION: As you probably figured out, we decided to keep our daughter in school.  Before coming to a decision my husband and I weighed our options and then spoke to our daughter to see how she felt about it.  She REALLY wanted to stay in school because she was so afraid that her friends were going to forget about her and she didn’t want to miss anything fun.  She is a very determined child and she tends to push herself way too much so I was more than a little concerned.  My husband felt very strongly that she should live as normal a life as possible.  I was leaning towards keeping her home simply because I wanted to protect her from the exhaustion that I could see setting in.  I was also afraid that I would tear the school up if anyone made fun of her.  Mama Bear is not pretty when someone fucks with her cub.  The 2 of them pleaded their cases and we let her stay in school with the condition that she would let us know if she was too tired to go.  She missed 23 days of school between February and June.  Those days she could barely lift her head in the morning.  Since this September she missed 13 days of school due to TSW.  10 of those days were all at once due to a bacterial infection that really knocked her on her ass.  We went into this thinking that we would play it by ear and if we needed to pull her out of school, we would.  For us this was the right decision.

My daughter has thrived socially and academically under these horrific conditions.  The children in her class are the most amazing children I have ever seen.  They all have shown concern, compassion and love that warms my heart.  They send her cards and texts and call her when she misses school.  No one has teased her at all.  There was one incident last year but it turned out to be nothing.  The rest of the kids in the school stared a lot last school year when this all began but that seems to have stopped.  The teachers and the Principal are wonderful and have bent over backwards to accommodate her.  We are currently having some issues with the school psychologist but I am pretty sure that we will get it under control.

There is no doubt that we made the right decision for our family, but this may not be the right decision for yours.  Good luck with whatever decision you make.

About Junk Lover

I am a lover of junk. I love to craft and sew and re-purpose old crap. My mind is a scattered mess with too many ideas running through it so I don't always focus and get my projects done. BUT, I usually have fun trying.
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4 Responses to School or No School – Tough Decision

  1. ahfaye says:

    heya i’m so happy for u all that u all decided to keep ur daughter at school and keep things as normal as possible. it’s great u r getting all the support from school. it will be a great learning curve for everyone, and ur daughter will be such a strong women as she grows up. ur family will be so close-knitted and strong to face any future events. hope ur daughter continues enjoy school as much as she can xxx

    • tanddi says:

      Aaawwwww, thanks. You’re so sweet. Sorry I didn’t reply sooner. Once Thanksgiving hit it got crazy here so I haven’t even logged in. I have to get back to blogging!!!!

  2. ruby red says:

    It is so heartening to hear your daughter has had a positive social experience at school! I agree with Ahfaye.

    I have had a massive break from blogging. Trying to work up some motivation to do my next post 😛

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